Back in the blogging world I come. I think i've said that a few times, but I'm working on a little something that I will be posting about soon. I'm sure there is absolutely not one soul that even comes to my blog much anymore due to the fact that there is usually a 6 month lapse in between each post. Don't blame ya. Well for those who are reading, life is definitely different than it was. I now have 2 children. Our little William Gray introduced himself September 21st 2012. He is my little boyfriend. My goal is to get his birth story up sometime in his lifetime. ;) Sayla adjusted better than I expected. Now that doesn't mean that it was easy, cause it wasn't and it still is not. I always dreamed of having lots of kids when i was little and even in my older growing up years too, but i'll tell you this...motherhood is the hardest thing i've ever done. the rewards that come with it are for sure worth it, but HARD is almost an understatement. There are people in this world who are just born to be mothers, and I truly don't believe that it was a gift given to me at birth. I know that I am really hard on myself. I do expect perfection in myself in so many ways. It's something I am constantly struggling with. With that trait, motherhood is almost always a failure in my eyes, so it's hard. It is such a joy to see Sayla grow up and bloom into her own little person. We have a fire and ice kinda relationship that is always a struggle for me as well as her. I am learning how to help her blossom in the sweet dynamic, determined little girl that she is, and most of the time I like to be in control, and with her that usually doesn't happen. She is the best big sister. I have so much i want to change in my life right now and I am definitely on a journey to find myself and where and what I am supposed to do and be in this life. I know I should probably have that figured out for the most part right now, but I don't. So be looking for what I've been working on. It will be coming hopefully sooner than later. In the meantime enjoy some of my pictures.
1 comment:
I STILL CHECK YOUR BLOG! I love reading what you write! and i totally know what you mean about feeling like motherhood is different then what you thought. Those little angels are CHALLENGING!!! i often go to bed feeling like a failure. I have been trying to remember that Heavenly Father sent them to us on purpose, each one...to help us and for us to help them like no one else can...Cant wait to read your next post!
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